Monday, August 3, 2009

The Door of Immortality



It was the cold, piercing breeze that woke Marijka. Her eyelids were heavy, but she managed to pull them back to take in the scene around her.
She was lying sprawled across a cold stretch of concrete that was as cold as ice.
There were no windows in the room she was in, but tall concrete pillars led to a door on the other side. It was a simple door; a silver door with a straight, green border.
For a moment, she thought she heard a faint chime of a music box coming from across the room.
Marijka lifted herself up by the elbows, and tried pushing herself into a sitting position.
Once the dizziness passed, she felt the pain on the back of her head and rubbed the goose egg, wincing. She then looked down at her short, stubby fingers. Something didn't seem quite right. These sun-browned hands didn't look familiar.
Footsteps echoed somewhere in her mind, and Marijka clambered to her feet and whipped around, searching every corner of the windowless, cold room.
She didn't spot the little boy at first, but he had approached her from behind. Marijka screamed when she turned, stumbling back a few feet.
The boy looked no older than ten, with bleached blonde hair and a crooked, trusting smile.
"Look at my watch," the boy said, grinning and holding up a gold pocketwatch for her to examine.
Marijka glanced from the boy to the watch in horror for several long moments, then swallowed loudly and took it from him to look at it more closely.
It was a roman numeral watch, but the surface had a small crack in it and the secondhand was ticking backwards.
"That's... wonderful." she told him, and handed it back.
Too intimidated by the boy's wide, electric blue eyes to look away, Marijka edged in the direction of the door. The closer she came to the door, the better she heard the distant, depressing melody tinkling behind the wall. The boy realized what she was trying to do and his eyes grew wide with fright and tenacity.
"You can't go through that door," he told her in a concerned tone.
Marijka's heartbeats quickened slightly, and without thinking or questioning, she turned away from him and ran the distance to the doorknob.
She could now hear the music. But she didn't stop to think about how familiar and mournful it sounded.
Marijka reached up to pull her long blonde hair away from her neck, as she often did when she was frightened or confused. But her hair was too short to cover those goosebumps on her neck; her hair was now chin-length and dark.
Taking a few deep breaths, she grasped the doorknob and turned.
"Stop!" the boy pleaded, now sounding alarmed like there was nothing he could do to stop her. "Don't go in, mom!"
Marijka paused from pulling the door open. She tilted her head a little and asked, "What?"
The boy was silent, and Marijka shuddered as the melody came on her hard, tinkling a depressing tune as to lure her in. She turned all the way around to meet the boy's cautious stare.


To be continued. (With alternate endings)

8 comments:

Becca said...

Please rate out of 5 stars! :)

1 - didn't like it
2 - it was OK
3 - liked it alright
4 - really liked it
5 - it was beyond words!

Dirtius Wifius said...

how about 6 - didn't get it?

Anonymous said...

Your blog is blocked sometimes :(

-- Ethan

(Good writings, but still confusing!)

-- Mel said...

Becca,
I need your help. A young woman in my ward, an avid reader, needs an on-line pal to discuss books, etc. Will you? Can I give her your e-mail address/facebook page/webpage etc? --Aunt mel

Dirtius Wifius said...

Keep going please!

Anonymous said...

I still don't get it.

And since when are your stories "explicit material found on this page" ?!

-- Ethan

Unknown said...

mysteryious.... i like it. i think ill give it a ****1/2 it was really good

Sunny said...

Becca! I'm so very impressed!!! But I agree with Heather; I want more!